Urban (mis)Advantures

Ray Allen, NBA’s new Three-Point King — February 10, 2011

Ray Allen, NBA’s new Three-Point King

I don’t normally get fired up about professional sports. I think athletes are way overpaid.  But tonight, I really, really, really wish I was at the Boston Garden, watching the Celtics play.

Ray Allen, number 20 Guard for the Boston Celtics, just broke Reggie Miller’s record for scoring three point shots in an NBA career.  In the first quarter against the LA Lakers, Allen tied Reggie’s record of 2,560.  A few moments later, he shot another three-pointer, achieving an incredible 2,561.  And his career (much less tonight’s game) is not over. 

Celtics fans rose to their feet in a faithful green wave of cheers.  They remained standing for the remainder few moments of the first quarter.  After the shot, Ray’s mother could be seen speaking the words every mother mouths at a child’s amazing accomplishment.

“That’s my baby.”

At the quarter’s conclusion, the announcer crowned Ray the new NBA Three-Point King.  The crowd applauded as Ray hugged Reggie Miller, his team mates, and his family.  He waved to his fans, and in his humble Ray Allen way (chewing gum and all) , accepted his new title. 

February 10 will from now on be Ray Day in Boston. 

Congrats, dude.

Attack of the Winter — February 5, 2011

Attack of the Winter

Old Man Winter, who knocks on your door with snow flurries and frost, has apparently been conquered by this woman…

The White Witch


Eye witnesses report of her sitings in places like Boston, Chicago, Milwaukee, and even Oklahoma City as she bombards the U.S. with a modern ice age. The president has called her attack on our land “Snowmageddon.”  Garrisons of  plows and soldiers armed with shovels and snow blowers fight against the tundra after each storm.  Yet many oppressed cities are running out of places to pile up the snow and ice, as drifts creep taller and taller.  As the subzero sorceress’ conquest continues, buildings litterally colapse under the tyranny, cars crash, people are trapped, and communities come to a frozen hault.   

The blizzarding bitty does have one enemy that can stand up to her….


This groundhog named Phil has the amazing power to conjure warmer temperatures of Spring.  And he has promised us an early Spring, thus angering the wintery witch.  Authorities have reportedly agreed to join forces with the almighty groundhog to battle the frigid fraulein.  One of their missions is to locate this legendary item…


…a portal that will supposedly return the blizzarding bitty from whence she came.

Citizens of the frozen warzones hope the powerful Phil brings Spring, the portal is found, and the White Witch is banished.  But for now, keep shoveling the home front and respect the men in plows.

Quit Flinging Your Butts! — February 4, 2011

Quit Flinging Your Butts!

I don’t care if you smoke.  I puff on the occasional cigar myself.  But I don’t disregard lit stubs, leaving the out to litter Heart Pond.  Nor do I fling it carelessly out of my car window, not considering that its rude, ugly, and could potentially start a fire.  Yet many cigarette smokers do this every damn day, in the car right in front of me. 

Consider this, if you don’t want a lit cigarette butt hanging out in your car, what makes you think the rest of the world wants it?  If your car doesn’t have an ashtray, use an empty coffee can to put out your cigs and dump the reminants out later. 

 If you can’t stand cigarette butts in your car, then QUIT SMOKING.

Thank you.

Surviving the Snow Days — February 1, 2011

Surviving the Snow Days

             New England has seen more than its fair share of snow days this season.  Our kids greatly enjoy the days off from school and some adults may be thankful to stay home from work.  Yet, with at least two more months of possible winter conditions, we may have more snow days ahead.  And some parents may inwardly groan.  Just what are we going to do with our kids?

            Spring and summer breaks offer warm days filled with outside activities and camps for kids to burn off their energy.  Yet the bitter cold and horrid driving conditions given by unscheduled snow days do not offer such amenities.  Yet, being snowed in can be productive and fun, and be a time of bonding for the family.  Here are some ideas to make it through a snow day (or two).

 Set expectations early in the day.

            Just because a town buried in snow may come to a halt, your household does not. Laundry, dishes, dust bunnies, and even children’s homework linger on.  And now the additional back-aching task of shoveling snow is added.  The day off suddenly fills with chores.  Early in the day, delegate chores to your children and set time limits to which they are to be completed.  (For example, the children will help with the dishes after breakfast, then everyone will get bundled up and go outside to shovel the snow.)  Be sure to assign chores to the kids with the promise that they will have fun later by going sledding, playing video games, or watching a movie.  Setting limits and routines early in the day lets your children know that there is work to be done, yet they will have fun on their day off.

 Play Games.

            Spend some time playing games with your kids.  Allow them to own you in their favorite video game and laugh at your feeble attempts to manage all the buttons on the controllers.  Or give them a challenge on video games you are fairly good at.

            Get out the board games and decks of cards.  If you are like me, you can’t listen to the sound of digital gunfire or loud video game noises for very long.  So, dust off the checkers and other board games and play a couple with the kids.  A couple of decks of cards will provide unlimited choices of games.  Let your kids teach you some games they learned at summer camp.  Also, a set of dominos holds about a dozen different games. 

 Get Crafty.

            Calming artful activities range from simple coloring sheets to all out glitter, bead work, and clay.  Spreading newspaper over the kitchen table and dumping out some art supplies should entertain kids for a while.  Make collages out of old magazines.  Sacrifice a cup of macaroni for macramé.  Decorate the inside of your windows with snowflakes cut from scrap papers. 

            Crafts can include baking.  Many younger kids love to help parents bake cookies, cakes, and cupcakes, especially with the anticipation of licking the spoon and mixing bowl clean.  Let children put icing or sprinkles on treats to create their own edible art. 

 Indoor Sports.

            More active kids may require indoor fun, even after shoveling the driveway and sidewalk.  Encourage them to load up the Nerf guns and wage friendly battles from behind trenches of living room couches.  If you own a video game console with full motion sensor controllers, you and the kids can burn off energy playing virtual tennis, golf, baseball, or dancing.  If you have a foosball or ping pong table, encourage the kids to play. 

 Enjoy the Snow!

            Lastly, enjoy the mounds of snow by sledding, building a snowman, carving an icy fort, and battling in a snow ball fight.  You never know, next year, we may not get this much snow.