Urban (mis)Advantures

Remember Memorial Day — May 29, 2011

Remember Memorial Day

On May 30th, as you observe or march in a Memorial Day Parade, consider a few things….

This parade day is not the occasion to march with signs stating that you are in a tea or coffee party…

It is not a time to ride on a gay pride float…

This is not the day to wave your religious symbols around…

This parade day is not the day to fly a Confederate or rainbow or any flag other than the American Flag with 50 stars…

It is not the occasion to ban together and celebrate your own race or ethnicity…

It is not the time to loudly voice your Republican views or Democratic views…

Nor is it the occasion to protest that which you do not believe in…

But the day to remember, honor, and thank those who fought and died for your freedom to do so.

Grumpy Old Woman? —

Grumpy Old Woman?

     I relaxed on the sands of Heart Pond today, trying to get some sun to my pasty skin before heading to the beach tomorrow.  Don’t want to blind anybody. 
     And I found myself growing frustrated at several situations.  The wind kept flipping my bamboo mat every time I stood up, even though I had it weighed down with shoes and the backpack.  Oh, well.
     Now I understand that children must have space to be loud, to run, to jump.  So the gleeful play of nearby children did not bother me.  But when a girl asked repeatedly if she and her siblings could get their clothes wet in the murky waters of the pond, sounding like a skipping CD, I began to snarl.  Just as I was about to beg the father to answer his child for the sake of my sanity, he finally told the children yes.  Yet one of the girls did not hear him and posed the question again, “Daddy, can we get our clothes wet?”  He had to answer a bit firmer.  I let out a long sigh of relief.  This is not the first time I’ve had to clamp my mouth shut at parents who bring their small children to the pond and expect them not to be curious and longing of a dip in the water. 
     Then a couple of young women stood in the shallow waters.  One snapped pictures of the other against the lush green tree line of the pond.  She claimed to get some cool shots of the friend, jumping and splashing, and tossing water into the air.  Their laughter was uplifting at the same time frustrating.  Then the girl announced that her rolled up jeans were “soaked” loud enough for half the pond’s residents to hear.  I rolled my eyes.  Of course, stupid.  That’s what happens when you jump around in water.
     I was also bothered by a woman throwing a ball to her dog close to where the canoes and kayaks needed to launch. 
     I flopped onto my belly to tan the back of my legs.  I suddenly stiffened and lifted my head at the realization of two possibilities.   And I asked myself:

     “When did I become a Grumpy Old Woman?”


      “Have humans always been this annoying, and I just never realized it?”

End of the World…..? — May 21, 2011
Sometimes, I Wish I Was A Cat…. — May 20, 2011

Sometimes, I Wish I Was A Cat….

As I watch my Oli sleeping sweetly in one of his favorite spots, I think , ‘Boy, does he have the The Life.’  And sometimes I find myself wishing I was a cat.  And this is what it would be like…..

Oli can go to work all day……while I lounge around, looking out the window at the birdies and squirrels.
Oli can get my food for me…….and sweep it off the floor when I drop some. 
Oli can wash the dishes……while I snooze on the couch.
When Oli makes the bed……I will watch patiently for my chance to lay on the new blanket and shed my hair all over it.
Oli can do our yardwork…..as I tease the neighborhood dogs from the windows. 

Oli can fold the laundry……after he shoo-s me out it because I was snuggling with it and making sure it was soft enough for my keepers.
Oli can clean my room……as I sharpen my nails on my favorite curvy scratching post. 
Oli will go grocery shopping…….while I get hyped up on catnip and run amuck in the house. 
Oli can help the boy with homework…..while I catch moths and mice and eat them….Wait, eeww, no.  Not eat them…maybe just bat them around a bit. 
Oli can play board games with the family…….and I’ll sit in the middle of it all and supervise it, making sure it’s played correctly. 
Oli can clean MY toilet…..and I will chew on some tape. 

And when I hear Oli comes home, I will wait lovingly at the door and stare at him admiringly, and then snuggle endlessly with him.

TV Shows that got the Boot — May 18, 2011

TV Shows that got the Boot

This morning, MSN had a link to about 67 TV shows that are getting cancelled.  And one in particular, I was NOT happy about. 

ABC’s “V” will not be returning next season.  What?!  But you can’t do this!!!  Lisa, heir to the V throne, is in a dungeon, and her human boyfriend is dead.  The human-visitor hybrid baby put nearly all of humanity under her “Bliss,” leaving them staring wide eyed up at the Mothership.  Then we found out there’s a top secret base way underground that can blow Anna to Kingdome Come.  Not the best time to cancel a show, ABC….

V won’t be returning but idiot shows like Dancing with the Stars and the wasteland of Jersey Shore will continue.  Bleck.  And Two and a Half Men will be returning, with Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen.  Please people, just let this one die…John Cryer and Ashton will not have the same chemistry, plus Ashton’s too young.  And Jake is like 17 now.   

But it does appear that ABC may have a their Wednesday night line up in order.  After playing around with shows like Mr. Sunshine and Better With You, the better shows are staying.  My ABC favorites will keep rolling: Modern Family and Cougar Town, along with equally entertaining “The Middle,” and new show “Happy Endings.”   

Am waiting to see if AMC’s The Walking Dead will return, but haven’t been searching too hard either. 

Here’s a link to 89 shows that are getting Canned. 

My Smurfin’ Opinion — May 15, 2011

My Smurfin’ Opinion

When seeing Fast Five this weekend, I got my first look at the upcoming movie, The Smurfs.  And well, I just don’t know about this one. 

I loved the Smurfs cartoon show in the 80’s.  What’s not to love about half-dressed, tiny blue creatures that live in mushrooms?  My personal favorite was Brainy Smurf (Papa Smurf always says…..).  Which brings me to my first concern about the Smurfs movie.

Brainy Smurf doesn’t sound nasally or know-it-all enough.  Perhaps casting Eddie Deezen, who voiced Dexter’s Lab’s Mandark, and the Polar Express Know-It-All kid would have been a better choice. 

Secondly, Katy Perry as Smurfette?  Meh.  I’ve heard some people saying she’s a great choice.  The original Smurfette’s voice was a bit annoying.

Soooo…cute little computer generated critters end up in a young couple’s nice home.  They run amuck around the house before gaining the love and admiration of the couple.  Sounds a bit Alvin and the Chipmunks

But the kilt wearing Gutsy Smurf and the wise Papa Smurf seem pretty spot on.  My prediction is that Hank Azaria’s portrayal of Gargamel will steal the show, along with his charismatic cat, Azrael. 

Overall, I shall be skipping the Smurfs on the big screen this summer.  X-Men First Class and Super 8 are calling my name, along with my money.  Can I get a “Tra la la la la la la, la la la la la laaaa.” 


Taming the Coffee Cravings — May 14, 2011

Taming the Coffee Cravings

Three weeks ago, I started a wonderful new therapist job with a cozy office in a mill building up in Lawrence.  Quickly, I realized, this is the environment that started my Coffee Cravings a few years ago.  Sitting at a desk for hours and hours a day.  The afternoon heat and humidity warming my office and mixing with my newly setting lunch.  Naptime! 

So I have found myself reaching for my favorite Eeyore mug filled with Bailey’s almond creamed java.  But I’m still only sipping about a half a cup a day, because I want to maintain the reduction in always feeling hectic and chaotic.  Some days, I bring tea.  One day at the office, I found some Mint Green Tea…..it smelled heavenly and was oh, so soothing to the throat and sinuses bothered by allergies. 

Another way I am keeping the Cravings at bay is balancing the sitting with the moving.  When my eyes start to cross from paperwork, back aches, or I start zoning out, I take the walk down the 5 flight of stairs to the parking lot.  Then I draw in a few deep breaths of fresh airs, then climb back up five flights of stairs. 

But on Thursday, I did bend to the temptation of Heav’nly Donuts in Methuen when I passed by.  Heav’nly has the BEST iced coffee around, and with crazy flavors like Blueberry Swirl, Cinnamon, and sometimes Snickers.  I had some Mocha mixture. 

So even with the new job and tons of paperwork, am still conquering the coffee hunger.