The Perfect Man?

So, summer is winding down, especially with the arrival of daytime temperatures only in the 60’s here in Massachusetts. And I saw the only movie that mattered this summer: Guardians of the Galaxy.  Having never read the comic book, or even heard of the comic book until the movie, I had nothing to compare it to and greatly enjoyed the film. Yeah, I know this deletes some of my geek points, but I still have plenty of geek left. Through this experience, I believe I have found the perfect man.

Ladies, meet Groot.

Yeah. Okay. So. He’s a tree.

What makes Groot the perfect man? Let’s start with the physical attributes. He’s tall. Dark. Has compassionate eyes and a great smile. His abilities range from very handy to extraordinary. He can reach all those things on top shelves that my short stature cannot. He can stretch and grow to help you bust out of an intergalactic maximum security prison if needed. He provides shade in the blazing sun and grows his own flowers for you on Valentine’s Day and birthdays. He produces light during power outages. And he speaks only when he needs to.  His personality is quite incredible. Groot is friendly to and gentle around children. He is a loyal friend. When others sit around talking and planning, he is doing. And most importantly, Groot would gladly impale anyone that tries to harm those he holds dear to his lively heart.

Fall in love with Groot.

Cheers to the Easter Bunny

When I was about seven years old, I spent Easter weekend at the home of my newly married sister. On that wonderful Sunday, my pre-school aged nephew and I excitedly entered the living area, hoping to find baskets stuffed with Peeps, chocolate and other goodies laying in plastic shredded green grass. But instead, we found a wrecked living room with disarrayed couch cushions, blankets, and decorate pillows laying around.
The story the young adults told us curious children was that my brother-in-law spotted the Easter Bunny in the home and chased him around the room.

This was not met with excitement from us kiddos.

In fact, my first thought was something more like this:

Night of the Lepus

My little nephew and I stood silent for a bit, staring with wide eyes at the damage done by a rabbit large enough to carry around presents for our baskets.

“What color was he?” my nephew asked.

“Oh, multi-colored. He kept changing colors as he ran around.”

WHAT?!

A color changing rabbit meant only one thing to this Cold War, Generation X child: Mutated.  You mean to tell me that a giant, mutated bunny was in this house?!

Suddenly, this notion was not that scary:

Yep, to me, the Easter Bunny was scarier that a beaten Son of God being brutally crucified and then rising from the grave like some zombie.  Okay. Yeah. It sounds silly, but I’ve always been an imaginative child.

I was too young at that time to appreciate that this prank meant to boost our belief in the Easter Bunny actually strengthened my faith. So the cutesy, capitalistic symbol of Easter and I really haven’t experienced a solid relationship.  And truthfully, who wants to think of the Lord bloody and broken on a Roman cross when flowers are budding, birds are singing, and baby duckies and bunnies are prancing around? But, hey, the Resurrection is my basis for this Spring Time holiday.  Therefore, I never encouraged the belief of a gift giving bunny to my own son. And I only died Easter eggs with him once because it was just such a stinky mess.  By the way, Peeps candies are plain gross.

But then this guy came along:

“The Easter Bunny Is Not a Fable” – Rise of The Guardians

Hecks, yeah!! A six foot tall, speedy, boomerang slinging, Australian accented bad-ass that protects me from evil! Voiced by Hugh Jackman, this Easter Bunny explained that Easter is also about “hope” and “new beginnings.”  Therefore, lining up with the Christian belief that one can be “born again.”

So once again, I say thank you to the Easter Bunny for helping to keep my faith strong.  🙂

But Peeps are still gross….

 

World War Z

Zombie fans united this weekend at movie theatres to witness a depiction of the entire world at war with the undead. Based on Max Brooks brutally intriguing novel of the same title, “World War Z” is not your typical zombie film. 

If you want missing body parts, blood spatters and intestines hanging out, watch AMC’s The Walking Dead, or any of the newer George Romero movies. For the WWZ movie is mostly void of the gruesomely detailed walking corpses or attacks as Brooks so masterfully writes in the novel.  

But the film is packed with soldiers calling the zombies “Zekes,” shooting at them, and putting their lives on the line to save their country men.  Bombs, including nuclear, fall. People panic and scream and fall prey to the infected and entire cities are lost as millions (possibly billions) of people turn.  And these bad boys and girls don’t stumble around stupidly and aimlessly.  These zombie biznaches run, climb stairs, leap, and even parkour throughout streets, building tops, and over obstacles. They pile on top of each other like ants, scaling buildings and walls. And these zombies are intelligent. 

Viewers who have read the book will also find Patient Zero, a kick-ass female soldier, and most importantly, the horrid, radical, and seemingly irrational decisions that salvage human kind. Well, most of human kind anyway. And this last idea is what I believe is the premise of the novel. 

If you are interested in seeing the movie, but have not read the book, don’t read it yet.  Just go enjoy the film. Then pick up Max Brooks’ World War Z at your local library or book store.  If you have read the novel and haven’t seen the film, be prepared that the film creators basically put Brooks’ idea on the big screen. Don’t compare it to the book. 

And good luck surviving this version of  the Zombie Apocalypse.

Flying Monkeys are Still Freaky….

My mother said I was four years old when I settled on the floor in front of our television to watch The Wizard of Oz for the first time.  She said I made it through the tornado ripping up the house and landing on the witch.  I made it through Dorothy getting swarmed by munchkins.  Yet when giant monkeys soared in, Mama said I propelled off the floor in a hissy and cowered in her lap.  

And this weekend, thirty-plus years later, I sat in a theatre, again wowed by the land of Oz. Sam Raimi and teams of special effects artists delighted us with Oz, The Great and Powerful, complete with Munchkins, Tinkers, witches, and yes, flying monkeys.  Though not seen at first, they howl and screech through the wind and cast menacing shadows on the land below.  Once they make their appearance in hordes, they hiss and bare baboon fangs, and attack with clawed hands and feet.  And now they are in 3-D.  I squashed back against the theatre seat and wast tempted to duck.  

Though obviously computer generated, Oz, the Great and Powerful is a beautiful movie.  The costumes are quite imaginative. The characters are wonderfully executed, as James Franco is charming and marvelous.  Rachel Weiss is wickedly lovely.  And Mila Kunis is surprisingly brilliant.  Oz is well worth the price of the ticket and a trip to a good theatre to view it.  

 

Frightful Quotes, Part II

Here is another round of my favorite quotes from the spooky side of life.  Enjoy!

“Look at her, Thing.  I would die for her.  I would kill for her.  Either way, what bliss!” Gomez Addams, The Addams Family Movie.

“We’ve had a doozy of a day, Officer. There we we’re mindin’ our own business. Makin’ some improvements to our new vacation home. When all the sudden these kids start killin’ themselves all over my property!” Tucker in Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil.

“Yeah, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel.”
And…..
“I’m sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.”
Both from Marty in Cabin in the Woods. 

A couple from AMC’s The Walking Dead:
“You believe in a blood sucking dog? (chupacabra) -Seth
“You believe in the dead walking around?” -Daryl.

“I shot Daryl,” -Andrea.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.  We’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl,” -Dale.

“She turned into a raven and then flew back to hell,” Tessa from ABC’s Suburgatory. 

“Questions?” -DJ
“Yes, umm, are you nuts? I don’t wanna steal drugs from my father, I don’t wanna go inside a monster, and I don’t wanna die!” – Chowder, Monster House 

From Shawn of the Dead:
“We may have to kill my stepdad,” Shawn to Ed.
Liz, screaming:  “EVERYBODY CALM THE F*&# DOWN!!!”

“If you put me in the dark, she’ll get me,” Michael from Darkness Falls.

“I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy,” Freddy Krueger.
“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, Six, get your crucifix.
Seven, eight, stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again.”  Nightmare on Elm Street.

“May be innocent, may be sweet…ain’t half as good as rotting meat,” Blix the demon, Legend.

“Dib! Are you trying to bring the dead back to life again?” Professor Membrane, Invader Zim.

“I’m not alone in the dark.  I like the dark.  I love the dark.  But I hate nature, I hate nature!” Chunk, The Goonies.

Check out my first list of Favorite Frightful Quotes!